I just want to cuddle someone till things get inappropriate tbh.
when somebody tries to tickle you
This is what my husband and I purchased at the grocery store the other day.
We don’t have kids.
We are adults. We pay bills.
And drink water from a whale.
I needs me some Baby Sven on my blog.
LOOK AT HIS LITTLE TAIL AND HOW HE WIGGLES IT
i’m all for boys wearing makeup mostly because if more of them got into it there’d be a bigger market and it wouldn’t cost $25 for an eyeshadow primer anymore
i can’t wait to go into the makeup aisle to get the latest man-color of guyshadow that comes in containers shaped like bullets and footballs
"Bruh I just went to sephora and got the sickest shade of eyeshadow"
"Sick dude what’s it called"
"Monster truck gas fumes"
The difference between period pains and getting kicked in the balls is that one is a compulsory monthly event and the other one is probably because you were being a dick.
THIS CROW FUCKING UNDERSTANDS WATER DISPLACEMENT. WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO BE TOLD EVERY YEAR BY A TEACHER HOW WATER DISPLACEMENT WORKS. DO THEY THINK I’M LESS INTELLIGENT THAN A FUCKING CROW? FUCKING DONE.
Crows discovered the principle of displacement in the third century BC, when the philosopher Awkimedes, upon noticing the level of his bird bath rose in proportion with the amount of his body that was submerged, reportedly exclaimed “EURECAW!” and flew through the streets of Athens shouting his discovery.
instead of desexualizing womens halloween costumes we should sexualize mens costumes and make it equal. i want boys in underwear and cat ears
if you have a dog chances are im already in love with you
lucky for u guys i got 3
she was ABout to put a fukING BANDAGE ON It
yeah have u ever met a school nurse..
Stuff you could get away with saying on a kid’s show in the 90s, part II
The joke that Bender tells but never finishes (while crawling through the ceiling) actually has no punchline. According to Judd Nelson, he ad-libbed the line. Originally, he was supposed to tell a joke that would end when he came back into the library and said, “Forgot my pencil”, but no one could come up with a joke for that punchline.
Did they just make up this entire movie on the spot.
Yes, yes they did.
today i was in hot topic with my mom and there was a bra with Simba on it so I asked her “want a lion king bra?” she said “why would i?” so I put it in front of my chest and said “hakuna ma tatas” she had to leave the store she was laughing so hard.